The Big Kahuna, the man behind the curtain, the beef behind the big radio voice: The CMFiC!

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New Beginnings!


Wow … what a year!

Hard to believe it was just a little over a year since last I posted here.  My, how time flies …

To hell with the whole “when you’re having fun” part of it … this past year was polluted with stress, dysfunction and worse.

I refuse to elaborate on the source of the issues as that would be tactless and beside that, far too many in this town simply FEED off of such nonsense.

In fact, let me take a brief second to help illustrate my view of gossips and meddlesome people.

THIS is all they are to me:

Gossips and meddlesome people are FLIES!


So anyhow …

Yeah, good ‘ol Buck is back to the bachelor’s life once again … and I LIKE it!

AND EVEN BETTER STILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! …

The boys are coming back! You KNOW I’m gonna be firing up some Thin Lizzy (RIP, Gary Moore) the day they finally get here.

And I’m not talking about a visit! I heard from their mom the other day that her 2nd husband, Rick, got a job in Lynchburg, VA. Sure, that’s still a haul from here, but it sure beats the heck out of the insanely long drive to the hinterlands of northern Maine!

The past dozen years or so have been anything but smooth. For my soul, this period could best be described as a “dry and weary land where there is no water.”  By itself, 1998 was a monumentally tough year which saw the end of one marriage and the end of another before it even really began thanks to a lovely little thing called Death. The day after I get the call from the coroner’s office that a certain someone’s body had been found and identified, I got another equally depressing telephone call informing me that my sons were being relocated to northern Maine.

Only to be followed by a series of insanely dysfunctional relationships that spiraled things even further out of control …

Blabbidy freakin’ BLAH … surely your imagination is not so limited as to not be able to take it from there. It’s been a long, strange trip!


So anyhow … yeah, I done went and got myself de-married. Still gotta sit around and avoid having sex with one another for a full six months, but that’s certainly not a chore.

I KNEW there was a reason I got back into longboarding right around the time said “marriage” hit rock bottom …


Man, a LOT has changed in the past year since last I blogged!

One thing that hasn’t yet changed is the ongoing addiction to Golden Tee. If anything, the addiction has deepened. Last summer I flew out to the Cincinnati area to play in my first tournament. It wasn’t one of the big national events, but some damn fine players with a goodly amount of tournament experience were there, and I had an absolute BLAST with those guys!

Especially the one and only Nicholas Strike (aka: HOLD STEADY). Although, after rooming together in Orlando, he may not hold me in the same esteem he did prior! LOL

This here’s my buddy, Nik’las!


Since my infamous trip to Cinci last summer, I’ve been to tournaments in Alexandria, VA, Lake Geneva, WI, Richmond, VA, Tysons Corner, VA, Orlando, FL and even hosted one here in the metropolis that is Leesburg … but that was definitely a minor league event, but TONS of fun!

Of course, I may or may not have mentioned before my blogging hiatus that they FINALLY changed that ridiculous “handicapping / divisional” system that was tied to a ONE TIME, LIFETIME high score. That was last March … and man, finally having to pay to play Golden Tee was a tough pill to swallow!

Tougher still was my vendor promising me kickbacks for quite some time. December was a limbo month as he promised that he and his “business partner” were looking in to it. Come January, it was all but in writing, even to the point of describing the so-called “Ambassador program” that makes allowances for Club Lucky vendors to offer “kickbacks” to their high volume players. I dare say I fall into that category as someone who averages WELL over 200 games a month.

So, after I got back from the big tourney in Orlando this February, I started asking people around town whether they’d consider switching venues if I could make the game more affordable. The answer was a resounding, “HELL YEAH!”

In a whirl of insanity and numerous closed doors that suddenly swung wide open, I was able to secure the financing, hammer out the details with a business partner, and even finagle a way to secure a brand new GT machine when we were told that NOTHING was going to be available for a couple more weeks.

On March 11th, 2011, my buddy, Christian, and I officially celebrated the 1st day of business as Laughing Ninja Entertainment.

We have 2 brand, spanking new Golden Tee machines which are very aggressively priced! So much so that almost everybody is playing twice as much as they used to, if not more. In fact, pretty much all of the regulars in this town play here at Sal’s (with the exception of a pair of unfaithful cretins who will go unnamed)

It’s sort of a cool feeling to realize that I’m bringing something of significance to the table for not only the local Golden Tee community, but also to a family owned business such as Sal’s NY Bar & Grille.

We no longer have the cramped quarters and the litany of bar flies and otherwise drunken idiots making the game experience almost nightmarish like we had with the single machine set-up at Spanky’s. I also do not miss the fact that my clothes no longer smell like ASS every morning now that I no longer frequent that bar.

While we DID have 2 side-by-side machines at Bunker Sports Bar, they were both in rough shape and the atmosphere there was about as pleasant as an outhouse. Not to speak of an even more unbearable group of drunken idiots who were louder and more obnoxious than an angry Tasmanian she-devil.

Speaking of which …

click to enlarge

click to enlarge

We’re all loving the change of venue! Better drinks, better food, better prices on the drinks & food … oh, and did I mention Golden Tee that’s about half of what everyone else in the mid Atlantic is paying?


So, as business names go, I think Laughing Ninja Entertainment is better than my last little side venture:


Anyhow …

Did I mention that I’m finally free??????

Free, baby … FREE!!!!


Doesn’t mean I’m cheap, though.


So, if ya know a good looking lady who might be interested in a not unintelligent, not hideous looking, house broken, potty trained, disease-free, emasculated pet husband (former), send her my way!

Oh … but no vegans, though, cuz everybody knows I {heart} teh bacon!



Eddie Cut!


Mornin’, sports fans! Cheers!

… tis I, is your benevolent and goodly overlord.

How is everybody this fine day?

If you, like me, are in the mid-Atlantic … all I am going to say is “Wow!”

Okay, I honestly intended for “Wow!” to be all I was going to say, but WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!! …

and I understand that the past week or more has been completely focused on these back–to-back blizzards, but this just insane! And no, these are not just large, heavy snowfall events. This is two back-to-back, bonifide blizzards!

The National Weather Service issued a bulletin about an hour ago telling people that they ARE to stay off of the roads. The city of Baltimore has initiated Phase III of their snow plan … only emergency vehicles are allowed on the roads. Period. Intense snow fall and winds of 40 miles per hour make for some rather hideous conditions.

My ex wife recently tossed a friendly jab my way, telling me to suck it up because they get this all the time up in Maine. While I will agree that these types of intense wintertime weather events are more common up there, I dare say that they are not quite accustomed to this!

I could be wrong …

but let’s just move along …


I'M CRAPPIN' YOU NEGATIVE!Before we do get about the business of moving along … the following was — and I am CRAPPIN’ YOU NEGATIVE … one of the paragraphs (verbatim) from the National Weather Service alert that was issued for our region at 11:34am:

“People are encouraged not to panic… but to simply stay inside… enjoy your favorite indoor activities… and ride this storm out… the hazardous conditions will be improving later this evening.”


You know what the means, don’t you?

Tis time to actually write instead just pumping out another one of those finished-in-fifteen-minutes picto-blogs!

But first, I would like to have a little chitchat with some of you about blog etiquette.

Or, not to put too fine a point on it: blog reading etiquette.

kissing assThanks for the herpes!Before we get too deeply entrenched in that subject, though, I want to start off by saying THANK YOU!

If you have visited us more than once, I double that order of gratitude.

If you are amongst those who regularly visit this place, I am sincerely honored that you’ve been entertained enough to want to come back with any frequency.

Good stuff, I tell ya!

As you’ve probably noticed, I am not the only one who blogs here. At present, the regular writing staff is a tad Spartan, to say the very least.

Before the council of writers gets too large and the silly insecurities of  the “what about me?” sort enter the picture …

I want to give some really huge props to our “stunt blogger”, Nuthin!

We are fortunate that such a gifted and entertainingly clever person has chosen to park some of his linguistic creations on this dark, humble, virtually uncharted little corner of “teh interwebs.”

I still don’t have actual profile pages for the site Authors and Admins (nor for the Council of Doom, but that will come in time)


So, where were we?

A big ol’ butt load of thanks to our readers!

Here, how about I make you a steak?



Okay, back to the subject of blog etiquette …

We, as “authors”, do what we do because we enjoy it.

Plain and simple.

It is fun to do this blogging stuff and I have to believe that I am laughing infinitely harder than most any of you are. I write stuff that is fun to come back and read later. Due to the completely spontaneous, “stream of consciousness” nature of the vast majority of my blogging, I hardly remember many of the details of what I’ve written, so this is really an entertaining process for me.

Sadly, it is painfully obvious – sometimes unbearably so – that I do not proof-read what I post, no less go through any sort of editorial process.

Something I like to refer to as …

“Projectile Blogging.”

But my point being, it’s when I come back days or weeks later that I’ll finally do proof reading (if any) and sometimes a little editorial work. Although, I must say that when it comes to my true projectile blogging posts, I really don’t like doing much in the way of editorializing my original process. I mean, hey … if it struck me as important enough to blurt it out, then it very well has a purpose — however miniscule — and is hopefully resolved by the end of the story.

And even that’s not intentional most of the time … which is what make projectile blogging so daggone fun. At least for me.

Yummy!!! But anyhow … I guess you’ve probably noticed that I really like those “so last decade” smilies, huh?

Dude, they taste just like chicken!!!


I really need to contain my A.D.D.-like tendencies today, sorry …

. . .

On to matters of Blogging Etiquette …

B.E. 101

(if you will)

As detailed on my “FOK!” page, the intent here is not to point the Finger of Authority at you and make you feel scolded. That would be patronizing, and nobody wants that!

Except you, so shut it!

My point being — and I understand the whole matter of feeling like a finger is being pointed makes that a poor choice of words — we really get a big charge out of interacting with our beloved audience. Especially those of you who choose to Register as member-residents of the Wonderful World of Buck!

Just shut your whore mouth and REGISTER!I really should stifle this urge to channel the spirit of Billy Haze …

he’s the parallel universe alter of Billy Mays, and he dies in that universe too …

You really don’t want Billy Haze storming in here like a cocaine-induced manic jackhammer and start pummeling you about the virtues of becoming a registered user on this site. Just feel free to register. It makes commenting and interacting more enjoyable … and it very well may be the start of a quest that results in you getting sucked into this whole cerebral black hole known as blog writing!

If you like to tell stories or make people laugh in a clever, well delivered  manner, blogging really is worthy of your attention.

And when that day comes, you too will understand this whole aspect of interaction.

Even heckling and a throwing of the proverbial elbow of jest is warmly welcomed.

Without getting all geeky and checking on server logs, we really have absolutely no clue whether anyone has stopped by. Now … should you happen upon a blog post that’s really a train wreck of failure, then perhaps the silence that only a cricket could wish for would be in order.

The point is, have a heart, leave a comment if you make it all the way to the end of a blog.

Got it?


Don’t make me break out the anal invading hyenas from hell …

I am dead serious, they are some bad mamma-jammas!

(and, as it turns out, this species — Hyena Semper-sodomus — is actually a marsupial. So much for that whole idea that the marsupial is a calm, bashful and predominately harmless species. The Tazmanian Devil, for example …

About the only thing worse that the hyena semper-sodomus … even worse than the Tasmanian Devil — especially an angry she-devil, doubly so when mating season approaches — is an animal thought to be extinct for centuries now.

And it is no matter of coincidence that I am making mention of marsupials here …

Behold …

the Snow Devil!



I know, I know … it bears a STRIKING resemblance to the Snow Possum.

That’s only fitting when ya think about it, though. I mean, dude … they’re both marsupials! Much in the same way that certain of the King snake species can bear a striking resemblance to teh Coral snake, the devil’s in the details.

But we’re getting a little bit off track here, aren’t we?

Our job as writers is to write … and due to the fact that there’s no binding obligation or moral imperative that we do so, it’s not a job whatsoever; but I’ve already covered the whole “we do it for the joy of blogging” nonsense.

We don’t get paid … I have absolutely zero aspirations of every hosting any click-thru ads to raise a little cash …

even if it is for a worthy cause … say, I dunno … alcohol research!

This is a purely casual endeavor done for the love of the LULZ …


We do it for our own ROR …

All we ask is that you quit being such a selfish, miserly, tightfisted, lurker and show our writers a little love, will ya?

Okay, let’s just pretend that you’re here for no other reason than morbid curiosity …

Unlike real life … where, if you happen to stumble across the police investigating a horrid, unthinkable crime scene … here, in BucksWorld, you’re actually EXPECTED to find a way to get into the background of whatever the forensic photographer is photographing and ham it up with a big grin or funny face.


(go ahead, click on the image … you should be familiar with the routine by now …
Click to Enlarge!
huhu … that’s what she said!!

Anyhow … even IF you’re here out of sheer morbid curiosity, you’re still expected to make your presence known.

Otherwise … it’s considered lurking …

and quite frankly …

… and it’s just downright creepy!

Okay, I think that about covers it for today, kiddies.

In case you somehow missed it … and this is the abbreviated version for those even lowlier souls: the folks that simply scroll through to see the pics.



If you’re the type that just scrolls through for the pics, this is an important announcement for you:

Leave a comment!



And that, my friends, is one ballsy white boy!!!!!!

… now scroll on down and leave a comment …
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