Admin’s prologue …

As those who frequent this domain must surely know by now, I am not the only writer on this website. Sure, Buck’s World is my own little world, but I am not the only person here who is something other than a figment of my imagination. Unless you subscribe to the whole Fight Club idea, but anyhow …

Yeah, I’m the main writer on this site, but I am very fortunately have a bevvy of entertaining and talented “guest writers” whom I prefer to refer to as my “Stunt Bloggers.” Granted, the term originated with my buddy, “Nuthin”, as he was the first to join me under this new “dot net” banner (and as a nod to two of the greatest modern guitarists ever: Frank Zappa and his billet for Stunt Guitarist which was originally filled by the one and only Steve Vai … and yeah, I do think our friend Nuthin is a far more entertaining blogger than I am, but we’ll save that nonsense for another time)

Today’s tasty vowel movement is presented by my dear friend and fellow tuna fisherman, Jay Bizzle!

As you’ll quickly see, my play on words and veiled reference to potty humor was not unwarranted …

I hope you enjoy,
Buck

Jay Bizzle’s Disclaimer:

WARNING!!!! The following blog is TOTALLY GROSS!!!! Not like dead animals on the side of the road gross … or pics of open wounds gross. I’m talking stinky poop gross.

Okay, I warned you; now on with the show!

Jay Bizzel here with another attempt to get one little smile out of you; wish me luck.

I happened to be sitting on the John the other day and got to thinking, “Hey, where is the comedy here?

I mean, after all, I love a good giggle at any time so why not on the can?

Enough hardcore thinking about the state of the union, let’s have some fun!

SOOOOO!!!!

I thought it would be a good idea to “look” at the artistic side of Poops!

For instance, everyone has heard of the “Hershey Squirts”, or the “Bite Sized Mounds”, right?

Well, I’ve come up with a few more poop art forms that I want you to try at home.

Now realize that some of the poops I’m about to explain are not easy to perform and definitely not for the timid, so don’t go jumping to the difficult ones without professional training.

But first, a little background info is in order:

The anus is an opening at the opposite end of an animal’s digestive tract from the mouth. Its function is to control the expulsion of feces, unwanted semi-solid matter produced during digestion, which, depending on the type of animal, may be one or more of: matter which the animal cannot digest, such as bones; food material after all the nutrients have been extracted, for example cellulose or lignin; ingested matter which would be toxic if it remained in the digestive tract; and dead or excess gut bacteria and other endosymbionts.

The anus is also known as the:

  • Wrinkle Star

  • Butt Hole

  • Bung Hole

  • Poop Hole (was gonna put a pic of one here but that’s over the top)

  • Turd Cutter

  • Poop Chute

  • Devil’s Onion Ring

READY????? Off we go!!!!!!

Attempt to form the following POOPS!

1. The Cobra:

All curled up and ready to strike. Extra credit if you get the hood to flare!

2. The Coffee Pot:

No!!! NOT butt coffee. The poops MUST look like wet coffee grounds.

3. The Caterpillar:

YES it must be fuzzy! Extra credit for color variations.


Now it gets tough. Please do not try this at home. I am a professional. Just ask Mz. Bizzel, she hates it when I yell “HEY HONEY, COME LOOK AT THIS ONE!!!”

4. The Dollar Bill:

Shaped like a pyramid (wait for it) with an eye at the top winking at you!

5. The Play Doh Fun Factory:

Can you do the different shapes? Extra credit if you can change shape mid-poop!

6. The Pole Vault:

Straight and ridged so much so it lifts you off the john and you teeter forward. Please don’t hit your head on the towel rack!

Come on guys, you know I won’t let ya down … …

now THAT’s a pole vaulter!

7: The David Copperfield:

Okay to do this poop, make those layered biscuits, separate the layers, dip each layer into food coloring, each layer must have a different color. Stack the layers back and note the sequence of colors. Eat the biscuit. When done, rid yourself of said biscuit BUT have the colors reversed.

Not easy but oh soooooo cute!!

Looks like he’s really poopin here, huh?

8: The Rifle Bore:

It’s gotta have grooves the length of said poops and it must swirl the length of said poops. Extra credit if you can have it switch from clockwise to counter clockwise half way down said poops.

9: The Payday: (my fav)

To do this you MUST swallow those peanuts whole!!



It never ends so PLEASE-PLEASE-PLEASE send me your ideas in the comments section. I need to try some new ones. Just so I can yell, “HONEY, COME CHECK THIS ONE OUT!!!”

Boy is Mz Bizzel gonna love it!!!

As always remember — especially now — I can make my finger stink!

Your servant … Jay Bizzel