WARNING …

messiah_xing

… MESSIAH CROSSING …

Ladies and gentlemen …

Boys and Girls …

Children of ALL ages …

(well, mostly) …

Welcome back to another installment of The News as Viewed Askew

or as it’s been titled for most of the past 23 years …

IAFUWCB-clean

I try to make these an early morning Saturday blog, but I dare say I’m not going to be all that interested with such things as it will be the first time I’ve seen my sons in several months. The energy expended to channel that goofy state of mind that I need to drift off into while perusing my image gallery will be much better spent, I’m certain.

But anyhow …

Since last we met, a number of things have taken place around this crazy globe of ours.

Beaujolais Nouveau festival, Kanagawa, Japan

Beaujolais-Nouveau_Kanagawa-Japan

Every year, Japanese men and women descend upon Kanagawa, Japan to celebrate the release of the latest vintage of Beaujolais Nouveau.

Unlike America, one hysterically whiny little shit of a human being cannot ruin a tradition enjoyed by many.

And yes, they’re bathing in wine!

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How cool is that?!?!?!?!

Elsewhere in Japan …

Sorry, I forget the details, but there’s yet ANOTHER convention in Japan where robots hold a certain amount of focus.

I mean, do you have ANY CLUE how obsessed the Japanese are with the idea of robots? I stumbled across a “documentary” last night about the “Future of Sex” and certain firms in Japan that are working on creating the most realistic sex robots imaginable. Sadly, one man is even trying to work out the algorithms necessary to build in ever-shaping and reasonably realistic EMOTIONS. Great … as if having real women say “No” is not bad enough.

Just give me my blow up sheep, thanks.

Anyhow …

Here’s the image of the robot associated with some event in Japan that does NOT have to do with sex …

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WTF is up with the gold “appendages”???

From Russia with Love …

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No real story behind this one … just an enthusiastic bunch of “football” fans get some face and body paint before a big game in Russia. I usually correct the non-American moniker and use the term “soccer” instead, but upon noticing this woman’s glorious level of enthusiasm and team spirit I figured it just wasn’t worth the effort.

Maybe that’s what those goofy little British boys were singing about in their song, “Back in the USSR” …

[twitch]

We interrupt our regularly scheduled news reporting to pimp a relatively funny website …

Have you checked out AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com yet?

Oh man! Hahahahaha …  that site contains some pretty funny photos and has been enjoying a decent amount of pimpage lately.

In fact, here’s one that I found particularly amusing. If you can point out what it is that made ME chuckle, there’s a valuable prize involved … but you have to leave it in the COMMENTS section below.

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Onward …

Miss Earth 2009

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I honestly have no idea who won … I simply wanted to add that I, personally, am a great deal more energy efficient than a Duracell … if ya catch my drift.

And yeah, that was a pagent of some sort recently hosted in Indonesia. As easy on the eyes as the event was, I had to keep choking back the urge to spit up bile as it was just another publicity stunt by that raging lunatic Greenies and their bullshit global warming propoganda. Not only are more and more prominent scientists finally stepping up to the politically correct bullying of the past couple decades to decry what a miserable sham this whole global warming / climate change is, but how inherently corrupt the movement itself is.

Add to that the FACT that the polar ice core samples unquestionably shows that carbon dioxide levels rise AFTER warming periods. Never once has it preceded a warming trend …

Don’t get me wrong. Like my great uncle before me (late author of the formerly syndicated column, The Angry Environmentalist) I DO believe that mankind must get more serious about our stewardship of this fine planet we have. I mean, here’s a just a small example of how seemingly insignificant matters can have lasting effects. Here’s an albatross that died (of what cause I know not) on the atoll/island of Midway:

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Midway is really out in the middle of friggen NOWHERE. All the shit in the middle there is undigestible material that bird plucked from the water’s surface over time.

But I’m not here to preach.

Is Ringo God?

Like many others, I’m a Beatles fan. Of the group, I’ve always had some sort of thing for Ringo Starr … I dunno, it was probably his role in the cult classic, “Caveman” (with his wife, Barabara Bach, Dennis Quaid, Shelly Long and the late John Matuszak) …

But anyhow … a scientist here in the states doing some fluid dynamics research came across a very bizarre series of results one night. These are, reportedly, unretouched, NON-Photoshopped images from his lab.:

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Sure, you may want to assume he was stoned … but I know I’m NOT and … well … I see Ringo!

Strange Toys …

Sometimes I actually get it … sometimes I am able to set aside my tendency to be immediately cynical about the way in which we are brain-washing and dumbing-down our children with some of the completely retarded toys and the like that get pushed upon them.

However … this morning I encountered a series of “plush toys” designed to educate toddlers about various germs.

The thought being: germs are scary things and children should be educated so as to alleviate some of the more irrational fears …

SRSLY …

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e-coli

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herpes simplex

(wtf?????)

BUT WAIT … THERE’S MORE!

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Syphillis

chlamydia_1526409iChlamydia

(I’m crappin you negative)

Seriously … that last plush toy was Chlamydia!!!! Need proof?

Here’s the tin they’re sold in …

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What’d I tell ya?!?!?!!

SIGNS OF THE TIMES!

Nope, sorry … not another one of my more religious tomes, it’s time once again for another sampling from my most awesome collection of signs!

sanitary-napkins_showerWow … that happens often enough to warrant a sign being posted???

While on the subject of: “Do they really have to worry about that????” …

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Mmmmmmmmmmm … bacon!

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Holy smokes, it’s almost time for me to get up the road, jump in that happy little twin engine Barron and head to Indiana to pick up my boy!!!

T3 … if you’re reading this, please bear the following in mind:

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For the rest of you … seeings how winter is upon us and many species of bear are busy making their last minute “plans” for hibernation, I’m going to spread a little love by voluntarily sharing a friendly little Public Service Announcement …

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In honor of the long-standing tradition of face-painting, I leave you the following …

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