Put on your boots, sports fans
Strange days, indeed.
Here we are in the midst of some serious Global Warm . . . uh . . . ya know, now that I think about … when I was kid in grade school — back in sunny old southern California — our teachers, mostly a mellow-yellow lot of Woodstock victims still in recovery, used to get us all freaked out about the coming Ice Age.
Quite likely even in our lifetime!
And the more I start thinking about it, it occurs to me that this was right about the time where Al Gore says he created the Internet.
“Hmmm,” says one little corner of my mind to another (who’s label shall remain withheld), “this is most curious, is it not?”
The Ineffable corner replies, “Indeed, sire, it is . . . it is most curious, indeed!”
Fast forward through the bizarre decade or so that unfolded . . .
And man, did Billy Joel nail that one right with that video? The 70’s nad 80’s were a really intense blur.
Then again, maybe it was Utah …
So anyhow …
In the midst of that veritable whirlwind that was the aforementioned decades, something strange happened.
The U.N. — outspoken critics of nationalism and far much more, schemed up an idea whereby the evil Capitalists might some day be coerced to relinquish their wealth.
Carbon tax … oh, wait, hold on … tax is such an ugly word. Let’s label it …
But let’s save a more in-depth pursuit of such things for my “serious” blog around the corner from here.
What I want to blather about this afternoon is just some of what’s been factually going on in regards to this whole matter of … I mean, what IS the euphemism du jour for Global Warming? I mean, the flippant use of the term, “climate change” is laughable enough. Of COURSE climate change is occurring, dummy! It does that, all day, every day of every week of every month of every single stinking year that has ever been or ever will be to come!
Wow, what a heady concept.
I mean, what on Earth could have caused those previous ice ages? Seriously, glaciers have clearly expanded and retreated repeatedly over the ages, have they not?
Oh, yeah … they have!
Let’s not get conflicted with petty little matters such as the fact that our dear “mother Gaia” belches and farts the most toxic gasses imaginable into the atmosphere on a regular basis.
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OH MAN!!!! I wish I’d had my camera with me just now. I let my little Jack Russell terrier, Sparky, out to pee … and she pranced across the deck and leapt off onto where the lawn usually is. I leaned over to see her, as she’d disappeared, and all there was waws this little black set of nostrils peering back, snorting.
It was straight up like the infamous scene from Scarface!!!!
It was HILLARIOUS!
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But anyhow, since this isn’t the serious blog page and it is not my intent to wax acidic, let’s just take see if there’s some humor or irony to be found in this strange twist of “unquestionable” global cooling theory cum “unquestionable man-made global warming” theory.
I mean, the headline shot round the world today was, “UN hails climate deal as ‘essential beginning’!”
So anyhow …
You heard that the Pope of the church of Anthropogenic Global Warming spoke to the masses at COP15 in Copenhagen this week, right?
Yesss, he did!
And don’t go getting all angry with me about the spiritual references. Al HIMSELF proclaimed,
“This is not a political issue, or a scientific issue or a psychological issue … it’s a moral issue. If anything it’s actually a spiritual issue.”
But anyhow … faux-Pope Gore claimed that new computer modelling suggests there is a 75 per cent chance of the entire polar ice cap melting during the summertime by 2014.
Yeah, seriously … a SEVENTY FIVE percent chance that the polar ice caps will MELT by the summer of 2014.
Actually, we should first let Al speak for himself:
“These figures are fresh, I just got them yesterday.
“Some of the models suggest to Dr. Maslowski that there is a 75 per cent chance that the entire polar ice cap during some of summer months could be completely ice free within five to seven years.”
The crowd gasped in shock!
Al continued with a plea …
“There are more than a billion people on the planet who get more than half of their drinking water – many of them all of their drinking water – from the seasonal melting of snow melt and glacier ice.”
Wow … did that remind you the least bit of THIS precious moment?
I mean, seriously … that was right up there with the Brooks Shields epiphany that, “and if you’re killed, you’ve lost a really important part of your life!”
So there’s Al, giving us the fresh scoop — the inside dope as it were — that some of these models suggest to Dr. Maslowski that the polar ice caps could be gone in a mere few years!
Dr. Maslowski, however, really took one heck of a piss on the coals of Al’s marshmallow roast when he immediately announced that he had no clue what Al was talking about nor could he even imagine at how such a conclusion could have been reached.
OOPS! I did it again!
. . .
Well, sports fans, the phone just rang and it’s time for this ol’ Buck to make himself all pretty and prepare to enjoy some of this beaitful snowy weather with the lovely and overly happy Spousal Unit. She lights up about this sort of weather even more than I do!
So, until the next time that we cross paths and attempt to make one or the other smile, laugh, chuckle or stutter …