Happy 2010 everybody!

As we look back at a year just past, sometimes it helps to occasionally stop and consider what we’d like to change during the coming year.

Not in the sense of resolutions … we discussed that in my last post.

It’s an occasion to offer ourselves the opportunity to learn. When we look back at outcomes and especially patterns, it’s vital to note the outcome and then decide if that is something we want to repeat … is that a path we want to continue to follow?

Insanity, they say, can be defined as attempting to solve a problem by repeating the same behavior/choices that created it.

ANYHOW …

What can I — your fearless leader and benevolent king of the land of Faux — learn from looking back at the past year?

For starters, make sure to make time for play. Burning the candle at both ends simply cannot end well.

Beyond that, it looks really retarded.

Let’s see, what else is there?

OH, I’VE GOT ONE!

Pay closer attention to what I buy for my nieces and nephews!

In fact, to be a bit more to the point …

No more Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve … after spending the morning and early afternoon enjoying “breakfast” with our friends at the pub …

The whole butt-plug part of it never occurred to me.

THINK, DUDE … THINK!

* * *

Speaking of being more thoughtful …

This year I’d like to spend a bit more attention to which vehicle I’m driving.

Awkward much?

* * *

So, anyhow … since I’ve already let the cat proverbial out of the bag about my holiday shopping fail.

I never read the box … all I saw was a doll and … like ANY guy … I was in a rush. Seriously, Christmas shopping can really be quite the inconvenience when it conflicts with one’s drinking schedule.

* * *

I have one nephew who is totally into Superman. A pillow that doubles as a pillow. How cool is THAT?

I was, unfortunately, perfectly sober when it came time for the opening of the presents that morning.

It took me a while to understand why I was getting so many confused looks from the kids and, even more so, the awkward looks from the rest of the family.

* * *

There’s my one niece who, of all things, is a HUGE fan of the Incredible Hulk . . .

HEY … his pants were NOT rolled up like that when I bought it!!!

* * *

Fortunately for me, the bath house across town is open on Christmas day … and only on that day each year … the hot tubs are filled with beer.

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MOVING ALONG …

Did you hear about the body that was recovered from Sydney harbor in Australia earlier in 2009?

According to the article that I read, investigators did initially rule out suicide and were considering this a possible homicide case.

REALLLLYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Thank you, Cap’n Obvious!

* * *

Were you out and about amongst mixed company yesterday, you too may have come across numerous conversations involving various “good luck foods” to usher in the new year.

In many Asian cultures, noodles are eaten on new years day in order to bring long life. There’s a catch, tho … each noodle must remain unbroken until the entire noodle is in one’s mouth.

Austria has its pork dishes … the Italians have their lentils … the folks in the deep south of the U.S. have their black-eyed peas and greens.

Stranger still is the traditional ox penis salad enjoyed in certain remote regions throughout China  …

Yeah … ox penis …

[twitch]

* * *

Then there’s my favorite dish …

BUT BEFORE I GO THERE …

Has someone in your family jumped on the latest craze of soaking turkey in brine?

Man, does it make the meat OH SO MUCH more tender and succulent!

Anyhow …

A few friends of mine and I decided to get together and try this whole brine soaking thing a try …

All I can say is, “Mmm, mmm, good!

* * *

HOLY CRAP!

(Saint Feces? that’s a new one to me too)

I just noticed how much the time got away from me this morning. I’ve got stuff to do, places to go and …

Who am I kidding? This is my last weekend to … uh … after realizing what the “Fun Shapes” toy that I’d bought for my youngest niece was really all about, I almost feeling awkward using this phrase, but here it goes anyways … blow it out of my ass. Starting Monday, the world as I know it taking some drastic changes for the busier, to say the very least.

All that to say, I gotta go!

PEACE OFF!

and be thankful you’re not a paralyzed child living in a third world coutry which will remain unnamed … every a solar eclipse they bury their paralyzed children all the way to the neck in MANURE!

How’s THAT for Hoping For A Cure?