Howdy, sports fans …

Before we dive into the weekend inanity, there’s something that’s been burning a few of my brain cells today  …

It’s time “we” had a little talk. Although, I should warn you up front that this conversation is NOT directed at every reader, it’s just directed at “you.”

Allow me to clarify what, or — more to the point — “who” I mean when I say “you” …

For a good number of years now I have enjoyed an extraordinary level of anonymity here on the internet.

And then, here recently, I started inviting others from the so-called real world.

No, not that patently RETARDED train-wreck of a television show … oh holy dear mother of Bob … that show has got to be one of the most worthless moments of mental excrement ever pushed forth from the script writers of Hollywood. I mean I’ve been inviting friends with whom I spend time with here in the real world. Quite frankly, I’d rather do this than watch some of this bull shit marketed to our children as entertainment:

yeah, go ahead and click to enlarge … us usual …

Back to our story, though …

At first I invited my sons … they’re all exceptional writers AND they share certain aspects of my sense of humor. It made sense to finally include them. Truth be known, it was my middle son hunting me down and finding my old MySpace page which ultimately caused me to re-think this complete and utter anonymity thing.

And then I extended the invitation to the goodly people at our local Irish pub of a watering hole:  Spanky’s Shenanigan’s.

And as people at the pub started talking about these bloggy things, the Spousal Unit eventually paid us a visit. Even though she rarely seems more than mildly amused, she drops in from time to time all the same.

In fact, I dare say it won’t be long before she hears about today’s post and makes it here.

‘ello, lovey!!

…

Anyhow …

As a rule, I definitely do not mind having you “real” people here being a part of this big ol, bad ol cartoon … in fact, it’s never once posed a single problem!

… until last night.

As some of you know, I openly welcome constructive criticism and, more often than naught, I’m even inclined to embrace such things. That might be a shock to some of you, but I dare say the only people surprised are most likely those who do not possess the capacity for such honest and direct interactions.

But anyhow …

Back to “constructive criticism.”

Can I tell you a little story before we continue?

Of course I can … it’s my blog! :o )

I once met someone who, rather bluntly, cut me off mid-sentence while I was talking about my own children. That person’s words were as cold as they were sharp: “You need to know that I don’t do constructive criticism.”

I’ve since learned that people really friggen’ MEAN IT when they’re bold enough to be that blunt. Do not make the mistake of thinking that they’re joking or otherwise just shrug it off.  You need to know that potentially anything you say can be twisted, distorted, and even wrongly be taken as a personal attack …

And it WILL come back to kick you in the ass …

Hard …

… Fast …

… and Continuously.

. . .

But anyhow …

While constructive criticism is all well and good, it needs to be understood that it is not something which extends to the level of questioning, no less attempting to control, the content I choose to place on this website.

Much like a bar or a pool hall, this is NOT a day care center. Not only am I sometimes likely to toss the occasional expletive to and fro, I’m also likely to post pics that won’t sit well with high-strung, easily offended, politically correct co-workers and/or bosses.

If you’re reading these blogs at work or with your parents looking over your shoulder, please know that I consider such a “personal problem.”

You may have already guessed where I’m going with this, haven’t you?

Yeah … I’m not a big fan of being told what I should, or more to the point: should NOT post on MY blog.

You may as well tell me something like:

Actually, that would be an awesome suggestion, but I digress …

It wasn’t so much this particular reader, whom I sincerely do consider a friend, that was the problem … it was her ability to accidentally incite supportive chatter from my lovely bride that ultimately chapped my backside!

In the whirlwind of conversation about which images were deemed offensive or inappropriate, said Spousal Unit works herself into what I wanted to assume was a playful frenzy.

All the same, when I am enjoying my Golden Tee machine, the last thing I want is mama lion scowling me into a corner …

“No more pictures of naked women with bacon on their boobs!”

Yeah …

Ladies, such things are guaranteed to not go well … especially when done when you husband in the presence of other men! You may as well hold up a little burlap sack and dangle it for everyone to see while you’re snickering, “Hey, honey … guess what? I got two dollars on eBay for your testicles! May as well say good-bye, I’m putting them in the mail tomorrow!”

. . .

Just so we’re clear …

I LOVE getting ideas and suggestions from you guys!

I LOVE IT!!!!

Send me all the freaking pics and jokes and ideas that your little brain can conjure!

However …

Do not ask me to avoid certain subject material …

And definitely … don’t ever, EVER tell me to NOT post something.

Do it again and it’ll get worse than this:

and if you think I’m kidding, here’s just a little glimmer of what’ll come next! (seriously: you really shouldn’t click on the next one)

HEY! I warned you!