Posts tagged Al Gore

W.W.O.S.

5

Last week I revealed to the world my change in stance regarding global warming, and I promise we’ll come back to that before this blog’s over.

But in the meantime, I think it needful for me to retract some of the bile and venom that I’ve directed towards our Commander in Chief. Watching him stump for Coakley is Massachusetts while the rest of the world was mindlessly fixated on the pain and suffering in Haiti has given me cause to pause.

I mean, let’s face it: the major media outlets have been pumping that footage into our sight holes 24/7, all weekend long!

Obama, however, chose to stand by his dear personal friend and political ally, Martha Coakley. Now that’s friendship for ya!

And why shouldn’t he? He is a brilliant campaigner! I mean, isn’t that what being a “community organizer” is all about? And to THINK that my right wing extremist, tea-baggin’ buddies were once cynical about the qualifications a community organizer had to be the POTUS!

They clearly failed to to take into account the fact that he was also a Senator!

I’m already off point, though.

The immediate point being: surely there is nothing about Obama stumping for Coakley that could possibly have a single thing to do with some Leftist — how dare some say? — “Marxist” agenda.

Am I wrong???

. . .

The bigger point being: as I look back at the past year it’s impossible to not notice some of the conservative watchdog groups who have been deriding the Obama administration for playing the “blame game.”

As we look at the world around us, it really needs to be done with the past in mind. To learn how something has come to be, you HAVE to understand from whence it came.

I mean, take a look at the economy … we are literally bleeding out red ink like we never have in the history of this nation!

Unemployment has soared to the highest levels they’ve been in most young voters lifetimes!

We are facing deficits that have simply been heretofore unknown and in amounts so massive that the common man cannot fully wrap his brain around their enormity!

Detroit — in fact, the entire U.S. automotive industry — is against the ropes, taking what seems their last gasp of breath.

Banks are falling by the wayside … big banks, little banks, even one of the largest investment banking firms on the planet went, as some might say, tits up.

For whatever it’s worth, I really don’t endorse the use of that term. It’s really quite sexist.

BUT ANYHOW …

Think about the above financial ailments, though …

Lehman Brothers went under in September of 2008. Obama wasn’t even in office.

Well, tell me … what is one to think?

To dove-tail off a popular religious trend of recent years: W.W.O.S.

What Would Obama Say?

“We inherited this economy from the previous administration.”

Ahhhhhh … I see!

It’s G-Dub’s fault!

Yeahhhhh … come on, admit it … when you really look back at those 8 years, is it really all that hard to believe that The Dub didn’t have his moments of being Commander in Spleef?

That sure would explain a lot of things!

I mean, not that I’m making a big stink out of smoking the ol’ stink weed. I mean, the Chinese have been smoking weed for almost 5,000 years.

Of course, outside of fireworks, they’ve not really done a lot as a society …

Well, the O.C.D. thing definitely kicked into high gear … thus the Great Wall.

Or was that just paranoia?

Let’s try that again …

Hey, the Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper!

Party on, James Madison!

But anyhow …

Since we’re on the subject of blame, and since marijuana is blamed for things such as lack of motivation, forgetfulness, etc. Let’s see IF there’s a chance that a stoned POTUS could possibly be caught “asleep behind the wheel.”

. . .

(ps: all the pics from here on out can be clicked on to view a larger version of the same image … for you “inquiring minds that want to know” …)

. . .

Barney Frank and his merry band of turd burglers engineered the whole sub-prime mortgage thing.

But under whose watchful eyes did they pull that off?

G-Dub!

Hmmm.

What about …

Wall Street ?

The collapse of Lehman Bro’s …

which, thusly, pushed AIG to the very ledge of failure …

Banks closing everywhere …

All of that happened under WHOSE WATCH?

G-Dub!

Yeah.

Are you trackin’ with me here yet?

. . .

What about …

Energy ?

The price of crude oil sky-rocketed to an unprecedented high of $147 per barrel in July of 2008.

In less than 8 short years, crude oil prices went from a steady average of LESS THAN $20 per barrel …

To an eye-watering, SEVENTY FOLD increase in price that absolutely crippled the average American with unbearably high gasoline prices.

Who stood to benefit from all of this?

Arabs, of course … but they’re just filthy, camel loving, Jihad happy, goat bumpers. We have goat bumpers here at home that SOME people would be happy to help see they got taken care of?

Who might I be referring to?

Where does American oil wealth reside?

Texas.

And who came from Texas?

(apart from Dick Cheney, the man obviously pulling the puppet’s strings)

Could it have been …

G-Dub!

Yeahhhhh …

making sense, isn’t it?

How about … oh, I dunno …

Teh Interwebs!

Walk with me, talk with me … let’s give this one a little thought.

Prior to the Clinton administration, the proliferation of malicious Trojan horse software and Worms was, for all intents and purpose, unheard of.

Internet porn?

Parents pretty much only had nothing much to worry about back in those older days of lore. Most predators were busy using the internet to find newly opened schools to stalk because kids weren’t on the computer.

SRSLY … there was actually a day when computers were VERY un-cool and were only used by insecure little geeks who had no life.

Look at the world today. In just the past decade, internet porn has become a mainstay industry, internet child predation has reached epidemic proportions …

This all happened WHEN?

The past decade!

Under whose watchful eye?

G-Dub!

Since we’re focusing on some of Al Gore’s more infamous inventions, let’s talk about …

GLOBAL WARMING!

To be really blunt about it, the weather was actually somewhat predictable and normal while under Clinton’s watch.

However …

Look back at just the past decade and tell me what’s been the REAL case?

Glacial melting …

* * *

Unprecedented numbers of …

Earthquakes!


(by inference we can deduce that Bush was responsible for Haiti last week too!)

Not to speak of the unprecented outbreaks of …

Tornado’s

as let us not forget …

Volcanic Eruptions!

and the intense seismic activity associated with these ever-increasing number if earthquakes and volcanic eruptions continues right up to today, January 2010. Go do a little news search on the number of volcanos that have sparked up in just the past month.

but anyhow …

In the past decade we’ve also witnessed …

Insane Wind Storms Sweeping Europe …

and, as all of us also know, the true toll to the weather in the fight with Global Warming has been the ubiquitous …

Hurricanes …

All this in the past decade, and under whose watchful eye?

President’s Bush & Bush in New Orleans immediately after Katrina

Yeah, another stoner moment.

It all makes sense to me now.

(told ya I’d get back to global warming!)

. . .

Put on your boots, sports fans

10

Strange days, indeed.

Here we are in the midst of some serious Global Warm . . . uh . . . ya know, now that I think about … when I was kid in grade school — back in sunny old southern California — our teachers, mostly a mellow-yellow lot of Woodstock victims still in recovery, used to get us all freaked out about the coming Ice Age.

Quite likely even in our lifetime!

And the more I start thinking about it, it occurs to me that this was right about the time where Al Gore says he created the Internet.

“Hmmm,” says one little corner of my mind to another (who’s label shall remain withheld), “this is most curious, is it not?”

The Ineffable corner replies, “Indeed, sire, it is . . . it is most curious, indeed!”

Fast forward through the bizarre decade or so that unfolded . . .

And man, did Billy Joel nail that one right with that video? The 70’s nad 80’s were a really intense blur.

Then again, maybe it was Utah …

So anyhow …

In the midst of that veritable whirlwind that was the aforementioned decades, something strange happened.

The U.N. — outspoken critics of nationalism and far much more, schemed up an idea whereby the evil Capitalists might some day be coerced to relinquish their wealth.

Carbon tax … oh, wait, hold on … tax is such an ugly word. Let’s label it …

CARBON CREDITS!

But let’s save a more in-depth pursuit of such things for my “serious” blog around the corner from here.

What I want to blather about this afternoon is just some of what’s been factually going on in regards to this whole matter of … I mean, what IS the euphemism du jour for Global Warming? I mean, the flippant use of the term, “climate change” is laughable enough. Of COURSE climate change is occurring, dummy! It does that, all day, every day of every week of every month of every single stinking year that has ever been or ever will be to come!

Climate Changes!

Wow, what a heady concept.

I mean, what on Earth could have caused those previous ice ages? Seriously, glaciers have clearly expanded and retreated repeatedly over the ages, have they not?

Oh, yeah … they have!

Let’s not get conflicted with petty little matters such as the fact that our dear “mother Gaia” belches and farts the most toxic gasses imaginable into the atmosphere on a regular basis.

~ ~ ~

OH MAN!!!! I wish I’d had my camera with me just now. I let my little Jack Russell terrier, Sparky, out to pee … and she pranced across the deck and leapt off onto where the lawn usually is. I leaned over to see her, as she’d disappeared, and all there was waws this little black set of nostrils peering back, snorting.

It was straight up like the infamous scene from Scarface!!!!

It was HILLARIOUS!

~ ~ ~

But anyhow, since this isn’t the serious blog page and it is not my intent to wax acidic, let’s just take see if there’s some humor or irony to be found in this strange twist of “unquestionable” global cooling theory cum “unquestionable man-made global warming” theory.

I mean, the headline shot round the world today was, “UN hails climate deal as ‘essential beginning’!”

So anyhow …

You heard that the Pope of the church of Anthropogenic Global Warming spoke to the masses at COP15 in Copenhagen this week, right?

Yesss, he did!

gore-ap-article_1498960c

And don’t go getting all angry with me about the spiritual references. Al HIMSELF proclaimed,

“This is not a political issue, or a scientific issue or a psychological issue … it’s a moral issue. If anything it’s actually a spiritual issue.”

But anyhow … faux-Pope Gore claimed that new computer modelling suggests there is a 75 per cent chance of the entire polar ice cap melting during the summertime by 2014.

Yeah, seriously … a SEVENTY FIVE percent chance that the polar ice caps will MELT by the summer of 2014.

Actually, we should first let Al speak for himself:

“These figures are fresh, I just got them yesterday.

“Some of the models suggest to Dr. Maslowski that there is a 75 per cent chance that the entire polar ice cap during some of summer months could be completely ice free within five to seven years.”

The crowd gasped in shock!

Al continued with a plea …

“There are more than a billion people on the planet who get more than half of their drinking water – many of them all of their drinking water – from the seasonal melting of snow melt and glacier ice.”

Wow … did that remind you the least bit of THIS precious moment?

I mean, seriously … that was right up there with the Brooks Shields epiphany that, “and if you’re killed, you’ve lost a really important part of your life!”

ANYHOW …

So there’s Al, giving us the fresh scoop — the inside dope as it were — that some of these models suggest to Dr. Maslowski that the polar ice caps could be gone in a mere few years!

Dr. Maslowski, however, really took one heck of a piss on the coals of Al’s marshmallow roast when he immediately announced that he had no clue what Al was talking about nor could he even imagine at how such a conclusion could have been reached.

OOPS! I did it again!

Britney-spears

. . .

Well, sports fans, the phone just rang and it’s time for this ol’ Buck to make himself all pretty and prepare to enjoy some of this beaitful snowy weather with the lovely and overly happy Spousal Unit. She lights up about this sort of weather even more than I do!

So, until the next time that we cross paths and attempt to make one or the other smile, laugh, chuckle or stutter …

PEACE OFF!

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