Posts tagged epilepsy

Involuntary Releases of Artistic Ignorance …

12

Have you seen any of the recent “brain fart” commercial from kgb?

Check it out if you haven’t …

That one absolutely cracked me up … if for no other reason than I grew up hearing that term quite regularly (my dad often made a gallant effort at covering for my stupidity when Mom saw it for what it really was, “Naw, honey … the boy just had a brain fart, that’s all”).

Anyhow … I was actually trying to go somewhere with this thought …

Ah, yes … Global Warming, that was it … (I know, I know … the latest, PC euphemism is “climate change”)

Here recently, the Royal Academy (in the U.K.) opened a new display entitled, “Earth: Art of a Changing World.” The show is themed around global warming and the feature artist is Tracey Emin, age 46, pictured below with some of her recent work:

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She looks overjoyed, does she not? I only wish I knew what was handwritten below those cheesy looking birds! (btw: is anyone even proud of the fact that I actually looked beyond the boobs and even noticed the penciled writing? Granted, my initial thought was, “does that say, ‘now go throw your semen at any one’ … ???”)

But anyhow …

So, what REALLY crossed my mind was, why was the lovely Tracey Emin chosen as the featured artist? As fate would have it, I stumbled across an explanation in her own words mere moments later …

I’m not a good person. I’m a bad advert. I take too many planes… I keep my heating on all day and night because I get really cold and I’m scared of the dark so I sleep with the light on”

I see … it all makes perfect sense now. (if you were here with me now, you’d surely notice my left eyelid twitching … albeit mildly, but twitching all the same)

. . .

. . .

The lovely miss Emin is not the only artist on display … also included are works by the likes of Antony Gormley …

gormley_1534677i

And yes, I’m crapping you negative … the display, entitled, “Amazonian Field”, is comprised of nothing more than hundreds upon hundreds of retarded looking clay figures that fill a more-than-modest sized room.

Ya know, I could sum up this whole matter of Global Warming AND modern “art” with the following masterpiece:

bullshit_pile

(yes, that IS a massive pile of cow patties … or, in the common vernacular, a GIANT PILE OF BULL SHIT!)

And yes, I also realize that the terms “cow” and “bull” are not entirely interchangeable. This is doubly true when it comes to the matter of milking …

BUT ANYHOW …

. . .

I hope you’ve been enjoying the recent entries from Buck’s World’s newest resident alien, Nuthin. I’ve known our flack jacketed super-hero at a distance for … well, it’s been a few years now, I suppose … and, for whatever reason, it wasn’t until I made the break from MySpace that he and finally hit it off.

And yes, there’s a reason I mention him … in fact, I would like to think that I rarely blather without a purpose. In fact, one of my most over-used lines over the years when I’ve hosted various interactive type forums was, “The point here is to have a point.” My good friend Emma might remember that line being used when we hosted a show on the MPlayer network. People that were being moronic, or just being otherwise pointless, would hear parting words, “Hey, @$$hole, the point here is to HAVE A POINT!”

At which point the room moderator (aka: the acting Evil Overlord) would drop the gavel and terminate that person’s connection to our audio “chat room.”

Good times! … Good times, indeed.

But anyhow …

My buddy, Nuthin, in a moment of “ebrius prudentia” closed his last blog post with:

Epilepsy-Seize The Day

Which, yet again, caused me to drift back to days gone by.

Any of you remember the Little Caesars pizza joints?

little-caesars-logo

There was cute little cartoon dude in the Roman get-up that’d blurt out, “PIZZA! PIZZA!” at the end of the commercials?

Well … years ago, I was having one of my little “twitch moments” … a phenomenon that the Spousal Unit applies the euphemism “inner chill” when she has one … whilst watching that same commercial … and I was, at once, smitten with the idea for my OWN little chain of pizza and sandwich shops!

little-seizures-logo. . .

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut anyhow …

. . .

Since twitching and seizures seems to have become the theme du jour …

Have you heard about the performance artist / actress in the U.K. who willingly went off of her epilepsy meds a little under a month ago? Yeah, seriously … she’s grown rather appalled at the “rubber necking” mentality and the — as she refers to it — “voyeuristic nature” of people who Google or YouTube epileptic seizures.

Again, I am CRAPPIN’ YOU NEGATIVE!

Samantha-Fox-500x819-82kb-media-133-media-0107

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS …

Sorry, sorry … wrong picture. This is about epileptics, seizures and all of that other good, fun stuff … not camel toes and buxomality …

This part of the story is about Rita Marcalo …

epileptic_1526901c(wow, talk about going from one extreme to another …)

Here’s the deal … Rita Marcalo (said performance artist / dancer / actress) has stopped taking her epilepsy medication for the express purpose of a production she has loving titled … wait for it ..

WAIT FOR IT …

Involuntary Dances.

Yup, once again, I am crappin’ you negative!

She claims she is doing this to “raise awareness of the condition.”

She will use strobe lighting, fasting and raising her body temperature to try and bring about a seizure. People are invited to film her at the theatre in the U.K. where she will be … uh … “performing” these involuntary dances.

Miss Marcalo was quoted as saying:

“One of the reasons I am doing this is because epilepsy is an invisible disability. As an artist I am very interested in this idea of doing something in my art that is the opposite of what I do in my life. In my own life it is private but in art I make it public.

“If you Google or YouTube `epileptic seizures’ you come up with all kinds of mobile phone footage which has been filmed without the patients’ consent. Part of me doing this is to address the voyeurism. I am saying, I am choosing to let you do this.”

The audience, restricted to people over the age of 18, will be provided with sleeping bags and breakfast and — get this — will be woken by a siren the moment she suffers a seizure so they can record it on their mobile phones.

Oh, and did I mention that she this “performance art” is being funded by a $23,000 grant?

And I can’t get research funding to drink beer and burp my worm???

Wow …

. . .

And finally … in recognition the hard work that the modern day school system invests in blowing smoke into orifices where smoke simply does not belong … check out this little gem that was sent to the parents of students of a Bacalava, Ontario school’s the 7th grade science class:

Dear parent/Guardians,

The Grade 7 Science classes are nearing the completion for the unit Pure Substances and Mixtures. In this unit, students have been introduced to the Particle Theory of Matter, and to some of the terminology related to the field of chemistry. They have also been given the opportunity to explore, and conduct experiments related to the properties of solutions and mechanical mixtures.

At this time all students are encouraged to discuss with you the content and expectations of the culminating task along with how it will be assessed. This culminating task allows students to demonstrate the knowledge and skills that he/she has learned throughout the module. Although students are responsible to independently complete this task, we would very much appreciate your assistance for the experimenting component, as students require access to a kitchen and some ingredients to develop their own mixture.

Thank you in advance for your interest and co-operation.

Translation: The children were making cupcakes at home as their “science project.”

. . .

Which brings us right back to where we started: Brain Farts and bull shit …

. . .

Until next time, sports fans …

Wait: speaking of bull shit, I’d like you to SERIOUSLY reconsider all the shit we’ve been force fed about this so-called “man made climate change” … remember the crap about how HUMANS are somehow pushing polar bears to the brink of extinction? As it turns out, that too was total and complete bovine excrement as well. Most populations are growing … and those that aren’t are currently engaged in brutal acts of cannibalism!

Don’t believe me?

Well, in that case …

PEACE OFF, FAUX CURSE!

POLAR-BEAR_1539105i

Teh Deepness and Vogon Poetry

18

Hello kiddies and cattle and welcome to another installment of, ” The Deepness that is Nuthinness “

This morning I surfed on over to the Jack Handy website for my daily dose of ingrown inspirational insight and intellectual intelligence where I stumbled upon this gem…

“When I saw the old bum pushing his grocery cart down the street at first I felt sorry for him, but then when I saw what was in his cart I thought, well no wonder your a bum look at the dumb things you bought.”

“…that Jack handy…hes an ‘effin genius.”

-Nuthin

Man…thats deep. Which reminds me of another deeply philosophical question that has been plaugeing mankind for millions of years…

WhichCameFirst_Thumbnail

I think this settles it.

Its been getting colder here the last few days, highs in the low thirties, and the temperature in my office/old decrepit garage (long story) where my desk and headquarters is positioned strategically to be headquartered @ and headed-up also known as “AKA” “HQ”, hasn’t gotten much above 50 degrees.

AAAA

Which kinda makes my head numb. All damn day long. Yesterday (like you care) I wore insulated pants and 3 shirts and kept my jacket and hat on all morning long and by lunch all I could hear above the music (Tool) streaming from Pandora was the chattering of my teeth.

So when I took my HALF HOUR lunch (12:00 NOON to something near 1:30ish), I came back with an overly large electric heater to warm the place up a smidge. Which made playing Battlefield Hero’s all afternoon until we quit around 4:30, much more enjoyable than that mornings session spent playing Tiger Woods golf, and surfing the daily regemin of internet time wasting sites, i.e. funny news sites, bucksworld, monopoly city streets, bucksworld, boygeniusreport, weird news sites, bucksworld, ebay, busted tees…you get the idea.

workendsindeath

Much thanks to the people over at Busted Tees, without whose help I would have never been able to steal all their cool t-shirt designs, I am going to kinda randomly sprinkle a few of my favorites from that site here and there throughout…well, everywhere.

speaking of cold…

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absolute zero…although I prefer to use the Kelvin scale, which is what all the threemommeters in my house are calibrated too.

So all this cold has got me hankerin’ a bit for the warmer climates… and all the beautiful sun-bunnies that go along with those places.

leather grama

isnt she fiiiiine!

I think the kids face says it all…and how about her bikini top…I have to say, I am impressed, a little pukey, but impressed nonetheless.

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I worried about the kid for awhile, worried he might have been traumatized by his grandmother during those shared lazy days spent whiling away the sunlit hours at the beach, but I found this picture of him all grow’d up and as yuou can tell from this pic he turned out juuuuust fine.

80's hair family

A well adjusted member of society raising a beautiful family.

I dont suppose I have much room to talk though, this is usually how I look by the end of the summer…minus the radiant shine of pure intellectual prowess emblazoned upon his visage of course.

tan hat

So the cold and snow here is reminding me that its that time of year where holiday shopping is beginning to  consume everything and I want you people to remember that there comes a time when we all need to just slow down and refocus on what really matters. We sometimes need to readjust our thinking, recalibrate what the media has convinced us to shift our priorities towards, and not forget that the true meaning of Christmas is Santa Claus. and presents. and mememe moremoremore. Lets focus people, I will be personally sending each of you my list and I want all of you to pick five things and mail them to me as soon as possible, the price limit is $200 (nothing below).

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While your out perusing the malls and bigboxstores of the world searching for everything on my list I want you all to remember to enjoy yourselves. Have a wondferful time hunting down gifts for me and dont forget…

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truth be told all I really want for Christmas this year is this

buckyballs

yeah I know it, im a goofy computer nerd at heart, but these things are really effin cool. Dont believe me, go see for yourself, www.getbuckyballs.com, if that video doesnt make you want some of these then your more normal than I thought and you dont belong here. Leave immediately.

anywho…thats all for now, have a wonderful day, oh shit…I almost forgot, I have one more thing…

Buck has kindly inspired me to share some more of my poetry with you all, and I dont want to disappoint him so here goes!!!

Nuthin’s Vogon Poetry Corner

by Nuthin

Billy’s Itch

there once was a man from missouri
whose arms were both long and furry
Bills ass went a twitchin
so Bill got to itchin
and his aching soon turned to worry

for once was girl from Kentucky
and Billy thought he got lucky
but soon he would see
when it hurt to pee
that fuckin aint always so ducky

Bills arm was long as a snake
and the next time his junk got to ache
he’d reach down below
and knead his own dough
and avoid the Kentucky mistake

so now im done…

my final words of wisdom for today…

busted-epilepsyseizetheday

Thanks

Nuthin

-Semper Ebrius

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