I mean, is it just me or do things seem to getting more and more surreal with every passing day anymore?????

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Alright, boys and girls, it’s time once again to take a little side tour of this little rock we collectively call home and see some of the things that mainstream media is too busy stirring the pot of hysteria that is “swine flu” and constantly attempting to manipulate the masses into believing our Evil Emperor … er, I mean President Obama.

So, grab a tasty beverage …

Put the kids away for a few minutes so you can avoid interruption …

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And join me on a walk through the news room of my mind …

Before we begin, though … I do want to take a quick moment to say how MUCH I have enjoyed the advent of Spell Check. I’ve never had typing classes and I’ve somehow evolved from an “index fingers only”, hunt and peck typist to someone who actually has most of his fingers flying across this keyboard in an almost epileptic like manner. My point being, these fits and twitches that result in my “typing” are often chock full of typographical errors and worse. Thanks to that little thing we call spell checker, SOME of my shame is able to remain hidden!

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Anyhow …

They say that, sometimes, Life …

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Comes at ya fast!

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Perhaps a little too fast at times, but that’s another story for another day for me …

Inventors are an odd lot, as many of you already well know. Not all of them, mind you, but it takes a special sort of person to “think outside of the box.”

(the enlightened ones realize there is no box, but anyhow)

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This young man from Korea invented a … uh … well, please feel free to offer an opinion as to what this should be named down in the comments section below.

In fact, I find it somewhat rude of you to show up and not even leave as much as a comment, but that’s a lecture for another day …

You may, much like me, find that cart-cycle to be wholly impractical, am I wrong?

But what about THIS????

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Yeah, baby! A portable practice putting which doubles as a bra!!!!

I’d like to think that this might partially silence those who have lambasted Asians for “stealing our ideas and making cheaper knock-offs.”

That’s pure creative genius there, boy!

However, not all inventions are particularly awe-inspiring …

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Now that we’ve thoroughly spoiled and pampered our children into a dim-witted state of complete dependence, let’s now melt our pet’s brains too, huh?

And some inventions are really downright cool, but come just a little bit too late.

Behold, the Luggage Sofa!

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Yes, several pieces of luggage that were strategically designed to be fitted together into a comfy little love seat for the couple in transit experiencing delays at the air port.

Sadly, you can’t carry on much of anything anymore …

Inventions were not the only noteworthy news items that I stumbled upon this week, oh no.

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I also learned that alcohol is now, allegedly, the greatest threat to society. Seriously, feel free to check out the article for yourself. It may be of note that this was coming from a pissed off man who was fired from his government post for insisting that marijuana is less dangerous that alcohol.

Now, while alcohol may be bad for the individual who over imbibes, such as this poor man who has been an alcoholic for a good many years now …

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As it turns out, my opinion is that the guy simply got too late of a start in life.

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But anyhow …

I read another story about a woman who, after having sex, sometimes experiences something known as, transient global amnesia”, or a complete, albeit usually temporary, loss of memory and the inability to form new memories which is caused by pressure in blood vessels in the brain. Furthermore, they say that this can be triggered by strenuous activities such as bowel movements or sex.

After engaging in what, I must imagine, was a particularly zesty coital session last August, the couple turned on the T.V. and the wife was amazed that the Olympics were on. Sensing that something was not altogether right about this question, he asked, ‘OK, what day is it?'”

When she couldn’t answer, he asked her to name the current President, to which she replied: “Bill Clinton.” He called an ambulance at once.

Love and Marriage … goes together like a …

Speaking of marital relations … I dare say that most women are painfully unaware of exactly how much they can push their husbands over the edge. Not all wives, mind you … in my seven-plus years of uninterrupted marital bliss, I dare say that the Spousal Unit has not once given me cause for anger.

But anyhow, such is not the case for many a poor soul in this increasingly woman dominated world in which we live.

This aging gentleman, known only as Lin, Yuyi, Fujian, was admitted to the hospital this week after driving a massive framing nail into his own skull after an extensive period of nagging and worse by his wife …

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Of course, who’s to say that the poor bastard isn’t so p*$$y whipped that he chose to claim he did it himself rather than incur even further wrath by tipping off police as to who was really to blame …

Ya never know …

Well, I could ramble until fingertips bleed … and dontcha know that I actually DO enjoy hearing myself type (I know, you’re shocked!) … but I need to cut this short and get on with my day. I promise you that I have PLENTY more tasty morsels to share with you in the days and weeks to come. Recent additions to my photo collection, not to speak of the dozens upon dozens of new and bizarre road and building signs from around the globe …

But before I sign off, I want to take a moment to thank the men and women who risked, nay even given, their lives in the pursuit of liberty. Those who have defended our constitution, who have fought for the cause of freedom, we THANK YOU!

My father served in Vietnam. Yes, I realize this was a war that was an absolute political debacle. It was a painful time for our country, and when it was all said and done, we exited that war with little dignity, a thrashed economy, and we ran out a president in shame. In short, by the late 1970’s we really felt like shit about ourselves.

I extend a special, albeit somewhat self-centered, thank you to the men and women who dutifully served in Vietnam. You were spat upon instead of appreciated … and no amount of collective shitty feelings justifies the manner in which you were treated upon your already tormented return home. I can only hope and pray that the generation coming into their own today rises up and undoes much of the social upheaval and cognitive melt-down that stemmed from the blossoming of decades of communist subversion that lead to the so-called “Summer of Love.”

This week a Federal U.S. judge (Cameron Currie) ruled that South Carolina may NOT make available “vanity” license plates that display a Christian cross and the words, “I Believe.” Her painfully flawed and PC-mangled logic being that it’s un-Constitutional and violates some imaginary idea of “separation of Church and State.” I say that because she is insisting that the PUBLIC does not have the right to PAY to express their freedom of religion.

Of course, the fall-out of this past century of Marxist influence upon our society has duped us into believing that freedom OF religion must now be treated as freedom FROM religion.

The world is a strange place indeed …

Funny how even many overseas see Obama as a dangerous man …

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Goo luck, boys and girls. Make sure to thank a veteran today … make sure to take a moment to think about what is REALLY important and look into what you can do to have your voice heard. We already know that the insanely hysteric minority has been making their voice heard and have been responsible for bizarre and broad-sweeping change to the way we live our lives.

Make sure YOUR voice is heard to, my friends.

Before I sign off, I’d like you to think about something, especially as it relates to all of the so-called promises being made to us by the likes of Obama, Pelosi and Barney Frank.

Their promises to us are about as worthwhile as this menu is to that seagull …

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Well anyhow … it’s definitely time for me to go and shake the hands of a few men and women who HAVE been goodly enough to turn their patriotism into action.

Until next time …

PEACE OFF, FAUX CURSE!

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