I’ve been doing this “blogging” thing for many more years than the term itself even existed. “Flaming” used to be a wildly popular pasttime for many … and this involved the fine art of lambasting some miserable soul who (quite obviously) was desperately in need of said thrashing.

Like so many other good things in life, however … the younger generation often jumps on board and makes a complete mockery of it.

But life goes on … and in this case, along came the fine linguistic art known as “Thread hijacking.”

This, my friends, involves a person — or persons — descending upon an otherwise civil and/or topical exchange and taking over that thread of conversation for their own twisted purposes. As will be demonstrated below, some have an almost exquisite gift for same. While I do not consider myself a master of “thread-jacking”, I have to admit that I found this morning’s Interweb discovery downright inspiring …

To wit … said discovery involved the “customer reviews” section of Amazon.com … oh my, and what a marvelous treasure trove I found there!

The Mountain Men’s Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee


And HERE’S what a few customers had to say about this fine piece of clothing …

I have been wearing this shirt for 2,043 days straight and it smells like a fruit orchard. I have the retro version of this shirt, and I must tell you, I am not inclined to upgrade. Much like Samson in the Bible, the longer I wear this shirt, the more power I possess.

And customer number next had this to say …

I received this shirt as a gift for my 42nd birthday. I still remember coming up the stairs to see what mom had made for breakfast, and there it was, howling at me beside my Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich and my Jimmy Beam breakfast drink. I’d never seen such majesty before, beckoning at me and sending ripples across my stomach and into my nipples. I was home.


Next item …

Uranium Ore!


And let’s see what customers had to say about this fine, hard to find item …

I bought this to power a home-made submarine that I use to look for prehistoric-era life forms in land-locked lakes around my home town in Alaska. At first I wasn’t sure if this item would (or could) arrive via mail, but I was glad to see it showed up with no problems. Well, almost no problems. Unfortuantly my mom opened my mail, because she does not respect people’s privacy. She was pretty upset to see Uranium Ore.

And another customer had this to say …

I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.


And last, but not least …

The JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank


This is where the hijacking got gloriously hilarious!

When I first saw this tank for sale, I was skeptical. How can they pack all that “tank” goodness inside, for such an affordable price?? I wasn’t sure if this tank was for me, but I decided to give it a try, and boy am I glad I did!

When I first opened it from its giant stainless steel radioactive shielded crate, I knew it was the “one”! The pictures just don’t do it justice! Its full stain metal plated exterior just screams ‘luxury’, and it’s 6hp engine will blast you from 0 to 40 in 260 thrilling seconds. Yeah baby! That’s what I’m talking about! You can almost feel the wind in your hair… almost.

But wait, there’s more! The inside is so much more spacious than the pics do it justice. It’s like a party inside with it’s 8 cubic feet of space and 400 watt sound system. This baby doesn’t just roll(at 40mph) it rocks too baby! Whoo! That premium sound is just perfect for drowning out the gunfire/cannons exploding outside. And how does it feel when you’re rolling down to the nearest starbucks in this bad baby???… like the 4th of July!

Note: Also available in a sporty convertible model: The Badonkadonk-a-doodle-doo. (outrun the Tusken Raiders in style)


It appears that the packing of this item is anything but consistent … read what this reviewer/customer had to say:

I ordered two JL421’s four months ago. The first one arrived in plastic shell packaging that was almost impossible to open. I actually had to go to the kitchen to get scissors to open it, and still nearly cut my thumb getting it out of the packaging. Other than that, the first one runs just fine, except the AC is very slow to cool. The warranty card said that the AC is covered only on parts and not labor. This seems misleading, and I am not happy about it.

The second JL421 I bought was used. The seller said that it was in perfect condition, but when it arrived it had a small scratch on the front passenger side fender. It also has an unidentified red splotch on the upper deck carpeting. I’m assuming it’s just a little blood, but the seller really should have at least mentioned it. The AC works, but the cosmetic issues still need to be resolved. If you’re buying used, buyer beware.

The JL421 does not offer an onboard FLIR option, and only room for 2 MK-41 VLS Surface to Air missile platforms (unlike the HM933 FLAPJACK Land Cruiser which offers 4). Also, if attaching the optional 60MM cannon, you’ll need to buy a 3rd party reinforcement kit ($1249.99), or risk damaging the luggage rack.
Other than those minor issues, the JL421 has a wonderful ride, and even came with flip down DVD players for the kids for long trips. My wife and I still enjoy them, but we will probably be upgrading to the Winnebago WL230 WARRIOR next spring.


But wait … there’s MORE!

I’ll admit it. Shopping for a personal tank can be a bit daunting. Many times in the past I’ve purchased overpriced, so-called “battle tanks”, then driven them into battle only to be wrecked in ten minutes by the first blow off of some insurgents home-made morter. But not this baby, no way.


and finally …

Have you ever wanted to be the dictator of an obscure country whose name you can’t pronounce, only to realize you don’t have the appropriate armaments in your suburban garage to give you that tactical advantage? Now, thanks to the good people at NAO Design, you have access to a device that can make your third-world conquests a reality.


Well folks, that’s about all I have for today. Enjoy your weekend … I certainly know I’m going to endeavor to do same!


Since we’re talking about customer reviews, I submitted the following to Verizon wireless. If you have a moment, please sit back and enjoy … (actually, leave a comment to this post first, if you don’t mind. the slide on back up and click on the link to …)

my CNet-styled review of the Verizon HTC Touch Pro

. . .

Until next time …